Where Is the Silver Bat

STOLEN...

One beautiful, specially chromed, silver table tennis bat. Taken from its Wiff Waff home on friday. Please if anyone sees it let us know PLEASE. We miss it and it is a one off, so if anyone sees a shiny table tennis bat it is ours!

Care Of Ones Bat

Table Tennis bat maintenance is a crucial aspect to the modern players elite game.
So how does one take care of a much loved paddle?
Treat it right. A bat is like a delicate woman. Rubber on both sides with a spongy layer. Wash her daily to clean off dust, dry her with a soft clean white towel.
On valentines day take your bat/woman to a meal. Neither will eat much if you have picked the right one. And if she offers to pay laugh a bit then say "OK fairs fair"
Tuck her in at night and smother her in dry kisses. Wet lips will damage her outer layers as their is acid in your saliva. An acid tongue huh? Yes.
Always remember your anniversary. When the bat arrived all new and shining and you finally said to the old bat you had been 'using' I think we need a break...
Never treat her too roughly, caress the ball over the net with her face, dont whack it. Bats rarely walk into walls by themselves so a damaged bat is your fault alone.
Hope this helps and remember LOOK AFTER HER.

The Dream

Last night I slept and Dreamt. I dreamt i was a table tennis ball and i kept getting smacked on my smooth white round bottom. Each hit made me faster and faster, each touch of the rubber paddle added more spin to my body until i was giddy with excitment. Then i missed the end of the table and bounced weightlessly across the floor, coming to rest under a couch. It was dark and I was frightened. My body had stopped spinning and i was alone. I sat there sadly sobbing hearing the muffled voices of the players as they searched for me frantically. I thought all was lost.
Then a beam of sunlight smacked me in the face as they lifted the couch to retrieve me. I quivered in one of their hands as they walked back to the table.
I was thrown high in the air and once more felt the paddle smack into my arse...
Bliss...

Wiff Waff List of ear sounds

As Wiff Waff grows in popularity it becomes time to post up a playlist of what music we have been recently stealing and playing.
Its getting colder, we will now be serving Wiff Waff Mulled Wine and encouraging vigourous playing and dancing to chase away the chills.

Last weeks top ten list...
Love Sick - Lindstrom and Christabelle

Vitamin S - Cham

Dont Walk Away - Chromeo

Dance Yrself Clean - LCD Soundsystem

I Need a Freak - Egyptian Lover

Hold The Line - Major Lazer

Raid On The Radio - General Elektriks

Wonderful Life - Hurts

Computer Kidz - Phonique
Twerk - Basement Jaxx

The Silver Bat...